Bound (Bound Duet Book 1) by Stephie Walls

Author:Stephie Walls [Walls, Stephie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Stephie Walls
Published: 2017-04-18T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter Eight

Unfortunately, one night wouldn’t heal the months of neglect for either of us. We’d reconnected, but once we were both back to our normal routines, the world might try to devour us again. I’d been working my tail off at Walton’s, getting straight As in school, and waiting on Gray. I continued to drive myself forward with what I could control, striving for perfection in my career and in school, so my failure at home wasn’t so evident. As much as I wanted to let go of the hurt, he had broken me that day in Gatlinburg, and one night wouldn’t fix that. He knew it when he’d said it, but somehow, he hadn’t stopped the hurtful lashing before it had escaped his mouth. He’d had some weird compulsory obligation to ensure I was aware he wasn’t interested in getting married again or the commitment that led up to it. But I’d never asked him for any of that. I’d never asked him where our relationship was going, just took each day he gave me. One simple comment about a chapel and he had effectively taken me down with one shot, and we hadn’t been the same since.

I’d had high hopes after Chiefs, but somehow, I’d let that slip through my fingers. Guarded and hurt, I’d lost the spark in my eyes that made him love me to begin with. The life had drained out of me. I had stopped seeing my shrink months ago, and I needed to reach out but hadn’t. If I hadn’t resolved the issues surrounding Will in this many years, it was unlikely I ever would. I’d played with a fucked-up hand dealt in someone else’s life, and I appeared destined to continue to accept that cycle. There’s no way Gray didn’t see my dull gaze—I knew he thought I was using again, but he wasn't brave enough to ask. He was never home so he wouldn’t have known the difference, and if he confronted me, he’d have to admit it was a wild guess. He had no proof because he’d never seen me do it, and I certainly didn’t come home smelling like pot. Part of me believed he was too cowardly to question me because if I were smoking again, he’d have to acknowledge why, or at the very least what I was trying to escape—pain he’d caused with callous words he’d intentionally inflicted. Pot gave me a false sense of happiness because I laughed, I saw humor in everything, those nagging feelings of self-doubt didn’t bother me. He’d seen the spark again in my eyes that night at Chiefs. I knew the moment we’d connected—I saw it in his, too. We both needed to see it daily—we depended on it.

Our relationship was taking up too much of my headspace in a negative manner. I spent more time with Jenny and Scarlett—that alone should have been an indication to Gray shit wasn’t on the up and up. Even Lynn had been riding my ass about who I hung out with.

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